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It was harder for him to admit the sexual harms he'd done and the people he'd used when he was still drinking.
But he said he needed to face those things if he ever hoped to have a healthy relationship--sexual and otherwise--in the future.
This category also gets the PIR thinking about how they were inconsiderate with their partner, how they might have been jealous or suspicious, or how they might have cheated on their partner.
Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed.
As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.
When PIRs do a personal inventory, they list the things--their thoughts, feelings, character traits, and behaviors--that stand in the way of recovery and those personal strengths that can help in recovery.
The moral inventory in Step Four gives PIRs a practical tool for honestly and courageously facing how their addictive actions may have hurt others and harmed themselves in the process.Others might become ready to face past traumas such as sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, and they might realize they need professional help to deal with painful and upsetting memories.If you sense (or know) this is the case with your PIR, it's good to give them some space and lots of tender support and encouragement, remembering that you can't be their therapist, but you can be their friend. Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter.When partners of recovering addicts have no personal addiction or recovery experience, it can be helpful for them to know what their loved one has been through and how their loved one developed healthy relationship skills.Author Karen Nagy outlines Steps Four through Ten: the "Relationship Steps." Mending relationships that were broken due to addiction is an ongoing task in recovery.
Many PIRs [people in recovery] also need help establishing healthy relationships.