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HIV forces you to do this, and in the process we often find kinks we never knew we had, fantasies we never knew we wanted fulfilled. For the months before I started my medication, I could infect my partners. Those early months without meds were filled with refusal, cruelty, and hurt. Gay men are masters of sex — quick and casual, passionate and intense, friendly and fraternal.
The doctors demanded I do many things: take a sex break, or at least inform all potential sex partners of my infectious HIV status. The responsibility came upon me to make these choices. It’s a hard stretch for anyone, but it teaches you to rethink sex. The end result: there are many happy, healthy, well adjusted HIV-positive guys out there who are kinky and open-minded. Poz guys are no better than our HIV-negative brothers in the art of fuckery, but having HIV certainly doesn’t make us lag behind.
As a preventative, it’s a powerful option for serodiscordant couples (one positive, one negative) and negative guys who enjoy barrier-free (condomless) sex.
Pr EP evens the playing field between poz and neg guys and eliminates the fear that has existed between us for so long — a fear that’s muddied our sex lives and ruined our relationships. There are many gay men who are aware of their HIV-positive status and are not on medication.
Serosorting — picking sex partners that have the same HIV status as you — is obsolete in the age of U=U. Most of us got HIV doing the same thing you did last weekend — bar-hopping, feeling good, going home with the stud in a muscle shirt, and fucking all night.
No one should be demonized forever for a “mistake” they make once.
Tas P is a triumph of medical science helping those living with the virus.
Pr EP is a triumph of medical science preventing its spread to those who are negative.
That day, the Centers for Disease Control made history by officially declaring once and for all that "undetectable = untransmittable" — that there is no risk of sexually transmitting HIV when on treatment and undetectable. He’ll have a rough couple months, but then he’ll be OK. We now have the scientific data to say you may be “infected” but you are not 'infectious'." — Anthony S. D., Director, NIAID, NIH, in a video interview in July, 2017 "This is a landmark development in the response to HIV and too many people are not hearing this message and receiving its full benefit. We’re the guy working out next to you at the gym, the cutie in the apartment above who you sometimes pass on the stairs, the guy you see often at your favorite Thai place. That, and people have been taught by right-wing scaremongering and the public politics of AIDS that HIV is something to fear and alleged breakthroughs should be distrusted.
It's a historic moment for HIV activism, and an opportunity to defeat stigma of those living with the virus once and for all. A person living with HIV with a sustained suppressed viral load poses no risk of transmitting HIV." — Jesse Milan, Jr., President & CEO, AIDS United, March, 2017 We’re fun! There’s an alarming population of people who distrust medicine thanks to social and cultural factors — many gay men among them.